I grew up mimicking the faith of those around me; watching, following and loving God, loving our neighbors as we love ourselves. But, I wanted more: to serve my country, test my mettle; see if I could hold life and faith together as a US Marine. So I enlisted. The Drill Instructors said: “Unlearn everything. There’s a new god: me.”

My Men’s Right of Passage (MROP) at Ghost Ranch hosted our mob of about a hundred initiates and the experience was special. On the day of our fasting and silent wandering, I  paired up with a man about my age and off we went.

We are completing our second month of the Soul Brothers program. Some reflections from our brothers concern a sense of sorrow when the brother they are paired with becomes unresponsive. I think back to when I proposed this idea to Brian and Chuck and how I wanted the bonds created from our Mary Oliver writing retreat to stay strong during the long days between councils. I am not a man who easily trusts other men, and I truly know the sorrow that comes from the unreciprocated bravery and vulnerability extended to connect with another man. I never want Illuman to be a source of broken bonds that can exacerbate the pandemic of loneliness that plagues most men in America. So, I have some ideas.