We are completing our second month of the Soul Brothers program. Some reflections from our brothers concern a sense of sorrow when the brother they are paired with becomes unresponsive. I think back to when I proposed this idea to Brian and Chuck and how I wanted the bonds created from our Mary Oliver writing retreat to stay strong during the long days between councils. I am not a man who easily trusts other men, and I truly know the sorrow that comes from the unreciprocated bravery and vulnerability extended to connect with another man. I never want Illuman to be a source of broken bonds that can exacerbate the pandemic of loneliness that plagues most men in America. So, I have some ideas.

I don't like the warfare words often used in resisting cancer. I don't feel like I am fighting for my life. It's not a struggle. I am alive and going through life, and death is not separate from the experience. Richard Rohr has made it very clear that the mystery surrounding death is too important for dualistic interpretations.

Again, it’s hard to overstate how affirming it was to have another person remember the same stories as you. I told Tony that I have kept many such memories in the memoir I wrote, Always Partly Broken, covering this time period and the impact of difficult forces on the spirit, particularly the feeling of remembering certain important events alone. Our conversation was the type that reaffirms the whole person—past, present and future.